Some years are for sprinting across the finish line of December bursting with optimism and high hopes. Some years are for gliding across with ease, steady and content. And, well, other years are for hobbling. Limping. Crawling, even.
I don’t know about you, but I am in the third camp this year.
Alas, ready or not, 2025 is upon us. Every year I fall a little out of love with incessant goal-setting on December 31st and a little more in love with taking all of January to reflect on the previous 12 months. Having said that, the first thing I do at the end of a year is make a simple stream-of-consciousness list cataloguing what worked and what didn’t. A little “more of this” and “less of that” to carry into 2025.
This year, my best friend Katie and I did this exercise together (fun!). You can read her list right here, and you can also listen to us chat live about both of our lists on our final Coffee + Crumbs bonus episode.
What Worked For Me in 2024:
Being extracurricular minimalists. To each their own, but we are not one of those go-go-go families that puts every kid in multiple extracurriculars all year round. In fact, we have entire seasons where none of our kids are enrolled in anything, which has started to feel a bit counter-cultural at times. While of course it’s important for kids to play sports, develop hobbies, pursue the arts, practice teamwork, etc, we also believe it’s important to protect margin and white space in our family calendar to free us up for other sacred things like rest, hospitality, creativity, family dinner, church, etc.(Related: I talk more about this in a bonus episode of the C+C podcast.)
Walk & Vox. Taking daily solo walks around my neighborhood while talking to my friends on Voxer is probably my #1 form of consistent self-care. Vitamin D! Movement! Emotional connection with people I love! THIS COMBO IS SO GOOD FOR ME. I do it every single day. 10/10 recommend.
Investing in experiences. From the big stuff (Italy, the Eras Tour, C+C retreat in Denver, getting a tattoo with Katie) to smaller events (Avett Brothers concert, comedy shows, seeing Anne Lamott in SF), we spent a lot of money on travel and experiences this year—probably too much if you check the credit card statement, yikes—but I have no regrets. I want us to be a family that values experiences over things and I think we lived that out more so this year than any other year. 2025 will definitely have less on the docket but anytime we can lean into making memories instead of accumulating more stuff, that’s where I want to put our dollars. ❤️
HelloFresh. I’m not going to bother putting “meal planning” on the what didn’t work list, but suffice it to say, I am still not good at meal planning and I still love Hello Fresh. Here’s my referral link—good for a free box!—if you wanna try it.
Yoga. This was my second full year practicing yoga consistently and I cannot possibly overstate the positive impact this has had on my physical and mental health. It took me over 30 years to find a form of exercise I love and look forward to, which has made all the difference.
Batching / Theme Days. I only started this strategy in the fall but it has helped my general overwhelm and lack of focus SO much. Before I started batching, I would sit down on any given day and basically try to cram as much work as possible into my 2.5 hours of childcare, which meant I was always bouncing around from task to task and never really getting into deep work. Blocking off entire days for admin work, writing, podcasting, Exhale, future projects, etc is helping me work far more efficiently.
Zinnias. When I placed an order for zinnia seeds in April, I had no idea how much joy and delight they would bring to my life. One of my top purchases in 2024, hands down.
Photographing families. My photography is a very part-time side hustle at this point, but I did a handful of (paid & portfolio) sessions that I’m really proud of this year. Also! I finally updated my website, hallelujah.
Getting a dog. Look, nobody is more shocked than me that I am actually saying this, but the dog situation is going well. And I have to give credit where credit is due: my family has held up their end of the bargain, 100%. I have not done a dang thing for this dog. I do not buy her food. I do not give her baths. I do not wash her toys. I do not take her for walks. I have not picked up a single piece of poop. I do NOTHING. The kids are in love. My husband is in love. And I … well. Sometimes I even pet her when nobody is looking. 😜❤️
Okay, now onto the not-so-great stuff …
What Didn’t Work in 2024:
My relationship with my wardrobe/shopping. This one threw me for a loop because historically speaking, I would say I’m a person who has her wardrobe dialed in. I know what I like. I know what I feel good in. I have a tightly curated seasonal capsule wardrobe that I rotate 4x a year (thanks in part to our very very very old house with very very very small closets). So … what happened? I still don’t know. But I found myself feeling really frustrated by my clothes this year, like I never had anything to wear and nothing fit super well. I didn’t feel good in my clothes a lot of the time, which really affected my confidence and mood. All of this led to more spontaneous shopping, followed by regret, returns, and essentially a whole consumption cycle that is not aligned with my values. I am a Quality Over Quantity girl and I definitely got off track in 2024. Heading into 2025, I am doing two things to reset: 1) putting myself on a 3-month shopping ban so I can challenge myself to be more creative with what I already own, and 2) documenting my outfits —which sounds kind of dorky but keeping an album in my camera roll of what I actually feel good in right now is helpful.
Sleep. Biggest sigh. Sleep could go on my list every year which is really sad but man oh man, 2024 was a horrible year for sleep. I’ve started to recognize some triggers—namely around alcohol, caffeine, and hormones / my cycle, but while I’ve always been a bad sleeper1, this year I started experiencing what I can only call “sleep anxiety” where I legit felt anxious climbing into my bed every night because I thought I wouldn’t sleep. Heading into 2025, I am determined to FIGURE THIS OUT. I am going to start tracking sleep with my new Oura ring and I’m also heading to the doctor for a head-to-toe checkup (including bloodwork) to see if there’s anything else I can try.
Marriage Counseling2. Without going into all the details, Brett and I dabbled in marriage counseling with two different counselors this year. We had a pretty terrible experience with one, and the other was lovely but very expensive (also an hour+ round trip) and after seeing her a few times, we didn’t feel like we were getting much out of it. There’s so much more I could say about this, but for now I’ll simply say: Brett and I have Some Stuff to work through—TBD what that looks like in 2025.
Family Technology Plan: There were certain points in 2024 where I felt good and confident about our screen time rules and how we approached technology as a family, but closing out the year, oof, it’s feeling like the wheels have come off. I’m trying to have grace for us because December was a super stressful month in our house, but I am craving a whole house reset and more clarity about what our tech rules and boundaries are. Contemplating printing them out and hanging a list in the kitchen.
(Related: all the bajillion cords/chargers are NOT WORKING. We have one drawer in our bedroom which basically holds a rat’s nest of wires. How are people organizing their cables and charging blocks? HELP.)
Instagram. Nothing new here. I struggled with Instagram in 2024, both from a creating and consuming standpoint. Dumb as it sounds, I am perpetually overthinking how to show up in that space. On the consuming side—between feeling overstimulated (so many videos! so many sounds!), succumbing to envy and/or discontentment (so many influencers peddling so many things!), and fighting insecurities (so many weight loss and anti-aging ads!) — it’s just … A Lot for me. And I’m not sure what to do about it. I already deleted the app 30+ weeks this year and plan to do the same in 2025. Would love to figure out how to make the most of the 20-ish weeks I’m on there (using it as a tool for work, having fun, taking everything less seriously, etc).3
The C+C Magazine. This is without a doubt the saddest item on my list. Let me start by saying: I’m proud of the two magazines we’ve made, and I have LOVED working on them. Getting to create something tangible that people can hold in their hands has been incredibly fulfilling. I scratched an itch I didn’t even know I had—magazine editor!—and learned so much (mostly by trial and error, my favorite teacher). I loved seeing photos of the magazines in your homes, and I equally loved making an opportunity for so many women to see their work in print. But/and/ugh. Behind the scenes, we had issues with Volume 1 and we had even more issues with Volume 2. Despite working SO hard to get everything out mid-November, these problems (which were not our fault and out of our control) pushed everything back. AKA: I spent my entire Christmas break—for the second year in a row—dealing with printer drama and customer service issues. But even putting that aside, the cost of everything has increased exponentially. Paper is more expensive. Ink is more expensive. Binding is more expensive. Shipping is more expensive. The math is no longer math-ing. And while I create stuff all the time that isn’t financially profitable, when I consider the time/energy/stress and the mental/emotional toll this has taken on me two years in a row (not to mention two Christmases in a row!) — I am officially, sadly, waving the white flag4. I don’t regret trying, and I’m glad I have copies to share with my kids later on, but I am still so, so bummed. What else can I say? ❤️
As I close out this post—and this year!—I would be remiss not to take a moment to thank you for reading my writing in 2024. Whether you just happened to click on this post, or you’ve been subscribed since the beginning, I am truly grateful that anyone takes the time to read my words.
ICYMI, these are my favorite essays I wrote in 2024:
And hey, while I’m shamelessly plugging my own work, friendly reminder that Create Anyway is still $5.39 on Amazon! Looking for book club guides? I’ve got those, too.
Your turn! What worked and what didn’t work for YOU in 2024? Tell me everything!
Worth noting: I am already doing ALL THE THINGS. Weighted blanket, eye mask, keep the thermostat low, magnesium, sound machine, no phones in the bedroom. I have bought every vitamin / supplement / sleep aid on the market. Not above taking fresh suggestions, but if it pops up on a google search, I guarantee you I have already tried it 😵💫
I hope I don’t need to actually say this, but because this is the Internet, let me state on the record: I am PRO counseling. It just … didn’t work for us this year.
If there’s something you want to see more of from me in 2025 over on the ‘gram, I’m all ears. 😜
If you ordered a copy, please know how crazy grateful I am for your support! If you didn’t order a copy and still want one, we’ll have a super limited stock available starting January 2nd. Don’t sleep on that announcement if you really want one; once they’re gone, they’re gone!
Ok first, I had not seen that last picture of you and the family and it made me gasp. So pretty. Second, I probably could have summed up my list of what worked in 2024 with this: Ashlee Gadd was my best friend again and put up with me for another whole year. The end.
Love you.
1. I've sleep anxiety for over a decade and there's basically no cure. I drink the magnesium and I do the essential oils but I think they work more as a placebo than actual help. Sometimes I sleep through the night and sometimes I don't. The best thing I've done is to just accept it and the kids will often wake up to find me sleeping on the sofa, a chair, etc. because I just wander and try to find a good place to sleep. (This is why I'm a sleep train dictator with my babies. They HAVE to sleep through the night because I do not. lol)
2. We tried the counseling and it did not work for us. Turns out, we just needed date nights. Not trying to minimize what you guys are going through, but sometimes I think we over-think the need for counseling and it's almost better to do a guided workbook on our own, date nights without kids, a marriage weekend, etc. But just know you're not alone to know that after two counselors you don't feel any better off. Neither do we, and we went through 4.
3. Your substack is my favorite and I think this is the first time I'm posting a note on anything I read. I hope you feel honored. :)