I go on that rant about streaming services every month or so and my husband always reminds me that "we used to have that, it was called cable and you complained about how you had all these channels you didn't need." 🤣
In all seriousness, LOVE a year-end wrap up. And I'm sorry someone felt the need to send you a long-ass email about not providing "enough content". There is not a single content creator I pay because of the *amount* of content they send. It's about wanting to support good work in the world, and part of supporting good work in the world is supporting the artists *making* that work when their lives are total chaos and they need a breather. (Also it was three bucks, ma'am. Eat a protein bar and take a nap.)
I have a SEVEN PAGE draft that’s been sitting in my google drive for over a year called “What Is Your Art Worth?” about this very thing 🫠 I am too scared to publish it on the internet but maybe I should just email it to you so I can process with someone who understands 🤣
Perhaps the person missed the part about how you’ve been supporting your best friend with 6 kids/co-host through a divorce?? As someone who is also currently supporting loved ones through a divorce and other losses, the vulnerability you, Katie, and Jill share is truly invaluable. Also, I just finished Maggie Smith’s “You Could Make This Place Beautiful”, and it was so hard but helpful for me to read! Perhaps art isn’t always meant to make us happy but that doesn’t mean it isn’t meaningful. Sending you best wishes for a great start in 2024!!
I loved this list! I’ve made a “what worked” list on my phone while we’ve been traveling and started a “what didn’t.” I don’t know if they’ll make it off my phone but they are helpful for me. My top family one is that we started paying to have our house cleaned this fall and it has been like a burden lifted off us in this season.
Will attest SMF is a fabulous airport (flew out of it regularly for years while at UCD). Still the airport I fly into when I go "home" from Colorado and I always make sure I have enough time to eat at Burgers and Brew and pretend I'm 21 again with the capacity to stay up late and eat the best burger and fries to ever grace northern CA.
All I have the capacity for in claiming what worked/didn't work in 2023 was: counseling.
Worked: six months of marriage counseling every Monday at 11. Saved our marriage.
However I've been needing some individual counseling for A W H I L E...and what didn't work was brushing it off because someone else in our family was in counseling and alllll our money went to prioritizing their mental health needs. But it's time for me...so my first appt is January 8 :)
I loved all the creative work you did in 2023 and look forward to seeing more. I don’t subscribe or listen to many podcasts and C + C has been a favorite for the past 5 years. The magazine was such a gift and right before Christmas made it extra special. I savored every page. Your book and other words you’ve written have encouraged and inspired me to “create anyway” and to try new things that will be “a joy to fail at” So, Definitely following you and your work has been something that worked for me in 2023!
Also, I normally like to make a variety of meals but this year with a lot of stress I went with a weekly plan on rotation. It was one less thing for me to think about and made grocery shopping easier. Here’s my simple list that worked for inspiration:
Rachel thank you for these kind words ❤️🥹 Very grateful for the encouragement. I love your meal schedule! I have actually thought this might be something we could pull off because we meal repeat a LOT. 🧐
You should look up the Lazy Genius episodes on meal
planning and the dinner queue! The basic idea is picking categories for each night of the week, and then just having a list of meals to plug in.
Monday - crockpot
Tuesday - tacos
Wednesday - sheet pan
Thursday - sandwiches
Friday - pizza
Saturday - takeout
Sunday - grill
(Just as a random example)
But the categories for each night narrows the choices down. And if you have a list of actual meals that fits the category then you’re picking from 3-4 meals for each night versus everything you’ve ever made.
Get yourself a subscription to Caroline Chambers “What To Cook when you don’t feel like cooking” newsletter...and thank me later! Haha but seriously she’s the best. She makes anyone feel like a master chef in the kitchen! Just a couple days ago, I tempered eggs while making soup!? Like, who am I??
One thing that worked for me this year is starting therapy for myself. We had a crisis this fall with one of our teens and I finally took the step to make an appointment with a therapist for myself to process and it has been wonderful! A weekly fasting and prayer day with a prayer partner has continued to work for me as well -
What hasn't worked is having my phone in our room at night, mindless scrolling, consuming over creating.
For 2024 I want to continue therapy, get an alarm clock and leave my phone outside the bedroom, make time for friends, and read more books!
I loved reading this list and also your post on instagram of IN for 2024 and OUT for 2024.
I was inspired to write my own versions.
Things that worked for me this past year. Scheduled mom time off, grocery shopping every two weeks and doing all the stores in one day, thrifting regularly and praying for needs, eating AIP, scheduled family fun time, budgeting watching it.
Things that didn’t work,
Getting rid of squash bugs in the garden, negativity, mindless scrolling, putting tasks off,
Playing the blame game, not knowning what’s for dinner til 4 o’clock, trying to read too many library holds at once, binge eating dried mango
Things I want to add in for 2024
More color/grace for him and for me/more hugs/physical therapy/ intentional rest/ flowers/ painting/ knowing what’s for dinner/ home manicures/ meditating on scripture/ deleting instagram regularly
Thanks everyone for sharing!! Thank you Ashley for being vulnerable and showing up here. You and everything from coffee and crumbs is my very favorite thing online. I literally get so excited to listen to a new podcast episode or read a Substack post or collection of essays. You feel like a friend that has walked with me through all the good and hard days of this motherhood journey. Thanks for making me feel encouraged, and loved. 💕
Hannah thank you for this sweet note! I am also guilty of trying to read too many library holds at once 🤣 I am crazy impressed you do all of your grocery shopping every two weeks! WOW
I love a good year end list. I’ll be thinking about the working / not working and report back. My biggest what’s working though that I shared at our family NYE dinner was writing. 2023 was the first year I was consistently writing, and I loved it. I took so many risks that I’m proud of (C+C essay, writing with purpose workshop, part time
Poets, Birmingham mom collective, exhale retreat), and my life is richer because of it!
If the current To Do list situation ever fails you, or you are curious.... I've morphed my life over to Bullet Journaling. It has streamlined so much for me! Creative, family, meal planning and habit tracking all in one little notebook. I call it my brain! But it has made my head so much more clear for everything else :) youtube has lots of videos you can watch to learn more. :)
Asking for help/letting people know specific things that would be helpful without feeling (too much) guilt for being “needy”
Getting off IG
Substack! My newsletter has been such a bright spot in the last 6 months.
Having a baby!
Delegating more chores at home
Starting counseling again
Quitting the thing that was stressing me out even though it felt “flaky”
Didn’t work:
Being overcommitted this fall. This was mostly a result of 1) making decisions immediately postpartum (don’t do it) and 2) not sticking to my previous decision about what I could handle and getting over excited about a good thing that was too much.
Having a baby!
Trying to bury my feelings and tough it out because I was tired of going to counseling.
Neglecting habits like uh, regular meals and moving my body.
Yes to quitting the thing that was stressing you out. I am likely to hold onto something waaaaay too long in the name of not being flaky. That resonates.
Love the legal pad idea! My husband got me a typewriter for Christmas and I feel like that sort of counts as a digital detox? Anyways, love this roundup!
Loved this list! I only started getting into the whole new years thing last January and I might just write an essay with this format. I love the idea of going over the things that worked and didn’t this past year.
I am "Team Stanley" and have no shame! Ha! I love a year-end round up! I always think I want to write on myself, then I never do, so I'll just enjoy everyone else's. (Sorry about the rude person who felt the need to email you that rude comment.) I hope you have a wonderful New Year!!
It was so refreshing to read your what didn't work section. It's ok to miss the mark on some things this past year, we can't do it all 100 % of the time. A great reminder! Also, the magazine is wonderful and a treasure!
I go on that rant about streaming services every month or so and my husband always reminds me that "we used to have that, it was called cable and you complained about how you had all these channels you didn't need." 🤣
In all seriousness, LOVE a year-end wrap up. And I'm sorry someone felt the need to send you a long-ass email about not providing "enough content". There is not a single content creator I pay because of the *amount* of content they send. It's about wanting to support good work in the world, and part of supporting good work in the world is supporting the artists *making* that work when their lives are total chaos and they need a breather. (Also it was three bucks, ma'am. Eat a protein bar and take a nap.)
I have a SEVEN PAGE draft that’s been sitting in my google drive for over a year called “What Is Your Art Worth?” about this very thing 🫠 I am too scared to publish it on the internet but maybe I should just email it to you so I can process with someone who understands 🤣
Perhaps the person missed the part about how you’ve been supporting your best friend with 6 kids/co-host through a divorce?? As someone who is also currently supporting loved ones through a divorce and other losses, the vulnerability you, Katie, and Jill share is truly invaluable. Also, I just finished Maggie Smith’s “You Could Make This Place Beautiful”, and it was so hard but helpful for me to read! Perhaps art isn’t always meant to make us happy but that doesn’t mean it isn’t meaningful. Sending you best wishes for a great start in 2024!!
Eat a protein bar and take a nap. I second this entire comment Claire. 👌🏼❤️👏🏼
I loved this list! I’ve made a “what worked” list on my phone while we’ve been traveling and started a “what didn’t.” I don’t know if they’ll make it off my phone but they are helpful for me. My top family one is that we started paying to have our house cleaned this fall and it has been like a burden lifted off us in this season.
Intentional outsourcing is such a gift!
Yes!!! We get a house cleaning once a month, and it is the best investment. I gifted myself an extra one in December, and it was 100% worth it
Will attest SMF is a fabulous airport (flew out of it regularly for years while at UCD). Still the airport I fly into when I go "home" from Colorado and I always make sure I have enough time to eat at Burgers and Brew and pretend I'm 21 again with the capacity to stay up late and eat the best burger and fries to ever grace northern CA.
All I have the capacity for in claiming what worked/didn't work in 2023 was: counseling.
Worked: six months of marriage counseling every Monday at 11. Saved our marriage.
However I've been needing some individual counseling for A W H I L E...and what didn't work was brushing it off because someone else in our family was in counseling and alllll our money went to prioritizing their mental health needs. But it's time for me...so my first appt is January 8 :)
Yes to alllllllll the counseling!
I loved all the creative work you did in 2023 and look forward to seeing more. I don’t subscribe or listen to many podcasts and C + C has been a favorite for the past 5 years. The magazine was such a gift and right before Christmas made it extra special. I savored every page. Your book and other words you’ve written have encouraged and inspired me to “create anyway” and to try new things that will be “a joy to fail at” So, Definitely following you and your work has been something that worked for me in 2023!
Also, I normally like to make a variety of meals but this year with a lot of stress I went with a weekly plan on rotation. It was one less thing for me to think about and made grocery shopping easier. Here’s my simple list that worked for inspiration:
Monday- Chicken, rice and beans
Tues- Pork and honey and salad
Wed- Salmon and broccoli
Thur- Turkey meatballs
Fri- Pizza
Sat- Spaghetti
Sun- Brunch
Rachel thank you for these kind words ❤️🥹 Very grateful for the encouragement. I love your meal schedule! I have actually thought this might be something we could pull off because we meal repeat a LOT. 🧐
You should look up the Lazy Genius episodes on meal
planning and the dinner queue! The basic idea is picking categories for each night of the week, and then just having a list of meals to plug in.
Monday - crockpot
Tuesday - tacos
Wednesday - sheet pan
Thursday - sandwiches
Friday - pizza
Saturday - takeout
Sunday - grill
(Just as a random example)
But the categories for each night narrows the choices down. And if you have a list of actual meals that fits the category then you’re picking from 3-4 meals for each night versus everything you’ve ever made.
I REALLY need to do this in 2024!
I also highly recommend this method!!!! We also always add a "season" favorite for one day too.
Get yourself a subscription to Caroline Chambers “What To Cook when you don’t feel like cooking” newsletter...and thank me later! Haha but seriously she’s the best. She makes anyone feel like a master chef in the kitchen! Just a couple days ago, I tempered eggs while making soup!? Like, who am I??
what an amazing rec! looking her up now!
Great menu inspiration list!
I love reading these lists!
One thing that worked for me this year is starting therapy for myself. We had a crisis this fall with one of our teens and I finally took the step to make an appointment with a therapist for myself to process and it has been wonderful! A weekly fasting and prayer day with a prayer partner has continued to work for me as well -
What hasn't worked is having my phone in our room at night, mindless scrolling, consuming over creating.
For 2024 I want to continue therapy, get an alarm clock and leave my phone outside the bedroom, make time for friends, and read more books!
Love these aspirations for 2024!
I loved reading this list and also your post on instagram of IN for 2024 and OUT for 2024.
I was inspired to write my own versions.
Things that worked for me this past year. Scheduled mom time off, grocery shopping every two weeks and doing all the stores in one day, thrifting regularly and praying for needs, eating AIP, scheduled family fun time, budgeting watching it.
Things that didn’t work,
Getting rid of squash bugs in the garden, negativity, mindless scrolling, putting tasks off,
Playing the blame game, not knowning what’s for dinner til 4 o’clock, trying to read too many library holds at once, binge eating dried mango
Things I want to add in for 2024
More color/grace for him and for me/more hugs/physical therapy/ intentional rest/ flowers/ painting/ knowing what’s for dinner/ home manicures/ meditating on scripture/ deleting instagram regularly
Thanks everyone for sharing!! Thank you Ashley for being vulnerable and showing up here. You and everything from coffee and crumbs is my very favorite thing online. I literally get so excited to listen to a new podcast episode or read a Substack post or collection of essays. You feel like a friend that has walked with me through all the good and hard days of this motherhood journey. Thanks for making me feel encouraged, and loved. 💕
Hannah thank you for this sweet note! I am also guilty of trying to read too many library holds at once 🤣 I am crazy impressed you do all of your grocery shopping every two weeks! WOW
Well occasionally there is something we “need” that I just have to pick up in between the 2 weeks but it still seems so much easier. Lol
What’s on your library hold list right now?
currently waiting for ... The Rachel Incident, None of This Is True, and The People We Keep (which is our Jan book club pick!). What about you?!
I’m waiting for... The Good Part, A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder, A Winter by the Sea.
Immediately had to put The People We Keep on hold also. Looks excellent!
I love a good year end list. I’ll be thinking about the working / not working and report back. My biggest what’s working though that I shared at our family NYE dinner was writing. 2023 was the first year I was consistently writing, and I loved it. I took so many risks that I’m proud of (C+C essay, writing with purpose workshop, part time
Poets, Birmingham mom collective, exhale retreat), and my life is richer because of it!
As someone who quite literally watched your writing *bloom* this year, I love this ❤️
If the current To Do list situation ever fails you, or you are curious.... I've morphed my life over to Bullet Journaling. It has streamlined so much for me! Creative, family, meal planning and habit tracking all in one little notebook. I call it my brain! But it has made my head so much more clear for everything else :) youtube has lots of videos you can watch to learn more. :)
Worked:
Asking for help/letting people know specific things that would be helpful without feeling (too much) guilt for being “needy”
Getting off IG
Substack! My newsletter has been such a bright spot in the last 6 months.
Having a baby!
Delegating more chores at home
Starting counseling again
Quitting the thing that was stressing me out even though it felt “flaky”
Didn’t work:
Being overcommitted this fall. This was mostly a result of 1) making decisions immediately postpartum (don’t do it) and 2) not sticking to my previous decision about what I could handle and getting over excited about a good thing that was too much.
Having a baby!
Trying to bury my feelings and tough it out because I was tired of going to counseling.
Neglecting habits like uh, regular meals and moving my body.
Yes to quitting the thing that was stressing you out. I am likely to hold onto something waaaaay too long in the name of not being flaky. That resonates.
Love the legal pad idea! My husband got me a typewriter for Christmas and I feel like that sort of counts as a digital detox? Anyways, love this roundup!
How fun! The sound alone is pretty therapeutic I bet 😉
Loved this list! I only started getting into the whole new years thing last January and I might just write an essay with this format. I love the idea of going over the things that worked and didn’t this past year.
It’s an easy way to get started!
I am "Team Stanley" and have no shame! Ha! I love a year-end round up! I always think I want to write on myself, then I never do, so I'll just enjoy everyone else's. (Sorry about the rude person who felt the need to email you that rude comment.) I hope you have a wonderful New Year!!
Seriously I am obsessed with my Stanley and so happy to finally be in the club 🤣
I need to make a list like this! Currently feel focused on what didn’t work and need to remind myself of all the good that happened!
Me, too. Why is it always so hard to focus on the good?!
Love your work!! And the magazine was phenomenal.. already looking forward to the next issue.
🥹 thank you, Brooke!!
It was so refreshing to read your what didn't work section. It's ok to miss the mark on some things this past year, we can't do it all 100 % of the time. A great reminder! Also, the magazine is wonderful and a treasure!
Lisa thank you so much for supporting us!
Thanks for sharing! You've inspired me.
Would love to read yours, Laura!