A Little Bit Young; A Little Bit Old
March 2025 Link Roundup
Lately my daughter has been telling people she’s sixteen.
She is—for reference—six.
Presley has what I believe experts call an “active” imagination. She has multiple imaginary siblings and friends, and can often be found wandering around the backyard having conversations with herself. Last week, I caught her pushing imaginary buttons on an imaginary phone.
“Mom, I can’t talk right now. I’m sending a text,” she sighed dramatically, as sixteen-year-olds are prone to do.
Later that same day, she pulled a few photo books off the shelf in our dining room. After combing through them silently for a few minutes, she appeared in my bedroom doorway with tears pooling in her eyes.
“Pres! What happened?” I opened my arms, motioning for her to come toward me.
She sniffled and paused for a second before running into my arms, blurting out, “I just REALLY miss being a baby!”
I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. She climbed up in my lap and I hugged her tight as we processed her trip down nostalgia lane. I reminded her that while the baby years are so sweet and so precious, being six is fun and special, too. Look at all the things you can do now, I whispered in her ear. You know how to ride a scooter, and swim, and draw a rainbow, and eat cake! You couldn’t do any of those things when you were a baby!
Presley smiled, added a few other things to the list, and then promptly skipped out of my room to go jump on the trampoline. I stared at the wall for a full minute, absorbing the emotional whiplash of my daughter desperately wanting to be both sixteen and an infant within the same afternoon.
She’s not alone, though. For most of my childhood, I wanted to be an adult. I caked eyeliner all over my face the second I was allowed to, dreaming of the day I could finally wear high heels and work in a cubicle.1 Then I got married at 21 and found myself pining for the freedom of my youth that I never fully enjoyed. Why didn’t I ever study abroad? Why didn’t I travel more?
For as long as I can remember, I have fought a deep desire to fast forward or rewind my life, rather than simply playing the tape.
Last week I turned 39 and I am suddenly feeling undeniably, quintessentially midlife, smack in the middle between old and young.2 Most days I feel like I could be 25 or 52, your guess is as good as mine. I’m semi-fluent in middle school slang, but sometimes I accidentally grunt when I get up from the couch. I’m still out here rocking crop tops, but I also copy/paste online recipes into a Google doc (which I then print on my home printer 👵🏼). I know every Olivia Rodrigo song by heart, but I’m also wearing shoes I bought at Costco—unironically.
And perhaps that is the true gift of sitting in the middle of the seesaw. I can still lean up or down, young or old, on any given day. I look forward to turning 40, but I am not sprinting to get there. Likewise, I am no longer pining for the days of my youth. Cliché as it is, I’m learning and relearning what it means to be present, to be where my feet are, to simply be the age I am.
A little bit young, a little bit old, and grateful the tape is still playing at all.
Create Anyway is officially two years old!
To celebrate, I’m giving away a signed copy over on IG, along with both issues of our C+C magazine. This also felt like a good time to make my yearly ask: if you loved the book, would you mind taking 30 seconds to leave an Amazon review? Reviews help other mothers find the book, and can often sway purchases for people who are on the fence. This is an easy, quick, free way to support my writing and I’d be so grateful! ❤️ If you haven’t read the book yet, it’s currently 62% off at Amazon, 80% off at Christianbook, or you can listen to the audiobook for free with a Spotify premium account.
And now, onto the links!
MY BEST FRIEND WROTE A CHILDREN’S BOOK (!). If you want to help your children learn that every person deserves to be treated with dignity, kindness, and respect — this book belongs in your home and on your shelf.
Currently reading and/or just finished: The Remarkable Ordinary, Take What You Need (listen to our conversation with Aundi here), It’s Time To Talk To Your Kids About Porn (coming soon to the Coffee + Crumbs podcast!), Back After This, Get Me Through The Next Five Minutes, What Does It Feel Like?, Ghosted, The Summer Pact, Beautyland.
Speaking of books, How To Stay Married is easily in my top 5 books of all time, and I loved this conversation with Lisa Whittle.
Speaking of marriage, this sermon was 🔥.
After my friend Anna raved about this hair influencer, I took the bait. I am now oiling my hair before washing, and using this intensive repair mask in between shampoo and conditioner. Immediate changes I’ve noticed: my hair is CRAZY soft afterwards, and smells good for a loooong time.
Carson’s librarian recommended this book to him, and when I tell you I teared up reading the synopsis, I mean I legit teared up reading the synopsis. He flew through it, and immediately asked for the companion book.
Presley and I make this banana bread recipe anytime we have “dirty bananas” as she calls them. 5/5 stars.
I put myself on a shopping ban from January 1-March 20th (my birthday), which proved to be a much-needed reset. One of my goals for 2025 is to shop very very very slowly, and only purchase things I genuinely love and believe I will wear a lot. I popped into something like seven stores on a recent trip to New York, and must have tried on close to 40 items, but only purchased two: these horseshoe overalls and this dress (in green).
95% of the books I read are on good ole fashion paper, BUT, I do appreciate having Kindle options on vacation and BookBub has been a fun find! They basically curate all the $0.99 / $1.99 Kindle deals, and send you a daily email with the best finds in the genres you like to read.
I’m on a mission to (gradually) rid our home of one-time plastic, and reporting back that I am loving Blueland. So far we’ve tried the laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, toilet bowl cleaner, and loved all three. I just placed my second order and am going to give their hand soap a try!
A new sleep mask I’m loving (as if my 17-step bedtime routine needed another item).
After traveling a ton in the past 12 months, I am confidently naming these my travel MVPs: this toiletry bag, these mini amber bottles for face/body oils, this backpack, this belt bag (I wear the belt bag through airport for easy access to wallet, phone, and sanitizer — then stuff in my backpack before boarding Southwest so it only counts as one personal item), this water bottle (I bring to airport with ice in it, then buy sparkling water after I’m through security and mix with emergen-C or electrolytes before flight), these compression packing cubes, and these simple plastic pouches (last trip I used one for tampons and one for snacks—talk about multi-purpose!).
Shameless plugs:
Our Coffee + Crumbs spring collection is live! True story: one of Brett’s biggest hopes in this life is that one day I will write an essay about how much I love our dog. This is not that essay, but, it’s a start.
I cannot remember the last time Katie and I laughed so hard during a podcast recording. I now think of her every time I shave my legs. IYKYK.
Amy Liz, fellow-photographer-turned-Internet-friend, recently had me on her podcast where we talked about the creative process, shooting film, self-portraits, and more.
Speaking of photography, my friend Jenny and I are teaching this workshop again in a few weeks. Would love for you to join us!
Pieces you may have missed from the archives: 17 Ways To Stop Being a Writer and What Would Anne Lamott Do?
That’s all I’ve got. What are you reading? Wearing? Cooking? Watching? Tell me everything!
Quick disclaimer: My Substack is always free to read! I use affiliate links in posts like this, which occasionally gives me a teeny tiny kickback if you buy something. Rest assured: I only recommend stuff I genuinely love.
P.s. If you enjoy posts like these, you’ll love our Coffee + Crumbs newsletter. The next one goes out Saturday (written by yours truly!)—subscribe now so you don’t miss it! 😉
Dream bigger, little self!
Not the first time I’ve written about this. See: https://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/blog/2021/5/14/somewhere-between-old-and-young
Okay, first of all - you in that dress!! Second of all, you put the perfect words to something I’ve been trying to name in myself recently. “For as long as I can remember, I have fought a deep desire to fast forward or rewind my life, rather than simply playing the tape.” Chefs kiss! I was queen of the fake ID as a teenager - until I got pregnant and had to become an adult in the 2 minutes it took for the test to turn positive. But I turned 30 this month and I’ve been shocked to notice how salty I feel about spending my twenties hardcore adulting instead of, you know, travelling the world. I think it’s okay to name the little griefs but also I really need to start working on simply playing the tape. And being grateful it’s still playing! Thank you for all of this 💗
It's always interesting to hear from someone who got married young, because I SO wanted to be that girl. But that was not in God's plan for me. Looking back, I'm grateful now, but it was hard at the time to feel like I was "behind." I relate to your thoughts on midlife... and since turning 41, I have mostly been struggling with the idea of being "midlife"... not 41. Midlife sounds so OLD! Haha. But I guess it's true, I am not young or old... I'm in the middle. ;)