Thanks for offering these words…I hope they were, in some way, cathartic to say “out loud.” Reading this made me think of this quote by Rainer Maria Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”—-saying a prayer for you right now, as you live the questions, and gradually live into the answer. The grace you need to live into that future answer will come when it’s time…it always does ❤️
That’s awesome! So funny that I just read this quote the day before you posted it here! And I highlighted it and saved it on my phone because I loved it too!
So good, friend. A Wendell Berry poem it reminds me of that I've been chanting to myself lately, at the risk of being the pretentious prat that leaves poetry in the comments:
I know so many people late 30’s and early 40’s who are just done. I think this is why people midlife crisis 😂 I truly think we need to learn the art of rest and need to start saying no to things - I can no longer be all things to all people. I am damn tired and unmotivated. I wanna just worry about me for a bit. Hugs to you! And hugs to me - I never expected this part. ❤️
And yet, you created this today in the midst of a slump. Just imagine what you’ll do with that children’s book and super secret project once you fully return to yourself ✨ And you WILL return. We always do. 💛
Thank you for your honesty in sharing. I see you, cheering you on in whatever creative endeavors are swirling.
“that weird juxtaposition of simultaneously wanting to be her and being so glad I’m not her.” Is me right now. We took an Easter photo of our kids (now 4 and 6) in the same spot the last 3 years, and I cried this year when I compared. They’re so big. Our life is getting ready to change again when my oldest starts all day school. I don’t want to go back, and I’m not ready for what’s next.
I wish I could hug you after reading this. And then I would grab your shoulders and look you right in the eyes and say, "Me too. You're not alone. I've felt like this for so long. Thank you for sharing that with me."
Sometimes creativity is a bright flame and sometimes it's a teeny, tiny spark. Either way it shines in the darkness.
This is why I read everything you write. Thanks for your honesty. You captured basically the whole of my 2024. I'd spent 15 years working towards being a therapist and found that individual therapy made me miserable. I dreaded the days, even though on the face of it, I finally had a fancy, wonderful job after years of forensic settings.
Maybe it was burnout, maybe it was my own stuff, but I'm on the other side of that season, and it was worth the wrestle, to put down some of the things I was carrying, including work, for a while. God has been nudging me towards slow and giving up my restless, amibitious, hyperproductive ways. I am surprised at the things he has bought up in a slower season that I wouldn't have been able to do before. It feels pointless while you're in it, but I have no doubt the wrestle will be worth it.
Absolutely love the honesty in this. Untethered is my feeling of the year so far. Such a strange place to float...having no idea where you should be going/what you should be doing.
thank you, Ashlee for putting this out. Putting words to how I've been feeling for a bit. I told my husband today, I cannot find anything to complain of, but I also am not excited of anything altogether. But your words are comforting to know this is not something I sit in alone. For you and with you, friend!
The number of times I’ve felt like this in the last month (the wondering, the overwhelm of emotions, the exhaustion, the feeling of relief at not having to feel guilty about just doing something and the my husbands support) is a number I can’t count. Feel like I’m walking right there along side you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, here to stay, and would love to support if there’s an opportunity for me to support. Cheering you on, and in search of what’s next while trying not to lose sight of where I’m at.
Hi Ashlee, I'm new to your work and wanted to say how much this post resonated with me. I was just telling my husband last week how restless I feel these days. You verbalized the feeling so well. I hope we both find what we're looking for!
I loved reading this, and I love you 😘. I’m laughing out loud (the ChatGPT thing!) and nodding in solidarity. Sometimes I wander around my house in circles because I don’t know which unfinished project to make incremental, nearly invisible progress on next. And random, but I did have the thought the other day that Create Anyway would make a great workshop.
Thank you for responding to the nudge! Your words blessed me. I am currently on day 2 back to work with my three-month old in daycare and just realized with surprising clarity that I do not -- after 3.5 years -- like this job anymore. "Untethered" is certainly the word! I feel less alone after reading this. Thank you.
Thanks for offering these words…I hope they were, in some way, cathartic to say “out loud.” Reading this made me think of this quote by Rainer Maria Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”—-saying a prayer for you right now, as you live the questions, and gradually live into the answer. The grace you need to live into that future answer will come when it’s time…it always does ❤️
"Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them." Oooooooof. Thank you for sharing this with me!
Wow, this quote is so good. "Live the questions now ..." such a wonderful way to think of this unsettled season!
I just read that quote in Hillary McBride’s Holy Hurt! Where did you hear it?
I read Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet in highschool as a rec from my sister and that quote has stayed with both of us all these years ❤️
That’s awesome! So funny that I just read this quote the day before you posted it here! And I highlighted it and saved it on my phone because I loved it too!
That is a funny coincidence! ❤️
So good, friend. A Wendell Berry poem it reminds me of that I've been chanting to myself lately, at the risk of being the pretentious prat that leaves poetry in the comments:
Our Real Work by Wendell Berry
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
I actually wish you would hop into my comments with poetry more often, tbh. 😉❤️ Love this.
I’m always here for poetry in the comments!
This is just beautiful and exactly what I needed to read today — the post *and* the poetry in the comments! ✨
I know so many people late 30’s and early 40’s who are just done. I think this is why people midlife crisis 😂 I truly think we need to learn the art of rest and need to start saying no to things - I can no longer be all things to all people. I am damn tired and unmotivated. I wanna just worry about me for a bit. Hugs to you! And hugs to me - I never expected this part. ❤️
And yet, you created this today in the midst of a slump. Just imagine what you’ll do with that children’s book and super secret project once you fully return to yourself ✨ And you WILL return. We always do. 💛
We always do. Amen.
Just here to say I love you and I’m really really glad you’re my best friend ❤️
Would be lost without you.
Thank you for your honesty in sharing. I see you, cheering you on in whatever creative endeavors are swirling.
“that weird juxtaposition of simultaneously wanting to be her and being so glad I’m not her.” Is me right now. We took an Easter photo of our kids (now 4 and 6) in the same spot the last 3 years, and I cried this year when I compared. They’re so big. Our life is getting ready to change again when my oldest starts all day school. I don’t want to go back, and I’m not ready for what’s next.
I wish I could hug you after reading this. And then I would grab your shoulders and look you right in the eyes and say, "Me too. You're not alone. I've felt like this for so long. Thank you for sharing that with me."
Sometimes creativity is a bright flame and sometimes it's a teeny, tiny spark. Either way it shines in the darkness.
This is why I read everything you write. Thanks for your honesty. You captured basically the whole of my 2024. I'd spent 15 years working towards being a therapist and found that individual therapy made me miserable. I dreaded the days, even though on the face of it, I finally had a fancy, wonderful job after years of forensic settings.
Maybe it was burnout, maybe it was my own stuff, but I'm on the other side of that season, and it was worth the wrestle, to put down some of the things I was carrying, including work, for a while. God has been nudging me towards slow and giving up my restless, amibitious, hyperproductive ways. I am surprised at the things he has bought up in a slower season that I wouldn't have been able to do before. It feels pointless while you're in it, but I have no doubt the wrestle will be worth it.
Absolutely love the honesty in this. Untethered is my feeling of the year so far. Such a strange place to float...having no idea where you should be going/what you should be doing.
Untethered is EXACTLY the right word for this feeling!
thank you, Ashlee for putting this out. Putting words to how I've been feeling for a bit. I told my husband today, I cannot find anything to complain of, but I also am not excited of anything altogether. But your words are comforting to know this is not something I sit in alone. For you and with you, friend!
The number of times I’ve felt like this in the last month (the wondering, the overwhelm of emotions, the exhaustion, the feeling of relief at not having to feel guilty about just doing something and the my husbands support) is a number I can’t count. Feel like I’m walking right there along side you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, here to stay, and would love to support if there’s an opportunity for me to support. Cheering you on, and in search of what’s next while trying not to lose sight of where I’m at.
I appreciated these honest words today. And, you might not know what you’re looking for…but you’re still looking. That’s something. 💛
Hi Ashlee, I'm new to your work and wanted to say how much this post resonated with me. I was just telling my husband last week how restless I feel these days. You verbalized the feeling so well. I hope we both find what we're looking for!
I loved reading this, and I love you 😘. I’m laughing out loud (the ChatGPT thing!) and nodding in solidarity. Sometimes I wander around my house in circles because I don’t know which unfinished project to make incremental, nearly invisible progress on next. And random, but I did have the thought the other day that Create Anyway would make a great workshop.
Thank you for responding to the nudge! Your words blessed me. I am currently on day 2 back to work with my three-month old in daycare and just realized with surprising clarity that I do not -- after 3.5 years -- like this job anymore. "Untethered" is certainly the word! I feel less alone after reading this. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you for this. You put words to my own sense of not feeling like myself. Your vulnerability is your strength.