Defining Word(s): More Generous Than Necessary

The act of giving more than what is needed or expected

1. I hobbled into 2025 tired and wrung out, managing little more than a slight shrug of the shoulders. Lord, if you’ve got a word for me this year, let me know. There was no epiphany on New Year’s Day. No lightbulb moment as the clock struck midnight. Instead, a few weeks into January, the phrase gently blew into my mind like a soft breeze: “more generous than necessary.”

2. The phrase according to Google: excessively giving or lavish; giving beyond what is considered reasonable or appropriate in a situation; synonyms include "overgenerous," "profuse," "munificent," or "bountiful."

3. When I first joined a Buy Nothing Group on Facebook, I assumed I would use it to get rid of stuff I no longer wanted (to be more specific: stuff I no longer wanted that I couldn’t sell for money). A few weeks after my son’s scooter had been stolen off our driveway, someone in the Buy Nothing Group serendipitously offered up a razor scooter in excellent condition. I left a comment on the post explaining how my son’s scooter had been stolen, and we could really use another one. The woman messaged me right away and said I could pick it up that afternoon. Three hours later, I presented my elated son with a “new” scooter (along with a reminder to always store it in the backyard). While I joined that Facebook group to give, not receive, receiving the scooter is what taught me the true heart of the Buy Nothing Group: this isn’t a place to donate your crap; this is a place to give away the good stuff.

4. A number of years ago, our neighbor started a tradition of stringing Christmas lights up and down our entire street. It’s a labor of love—putting hundreds of lights up and taking them down—requiring a whole team of men donating several hours across multiple weekends. The original neighbor who started the tradition moved away and no longer lives on this street. But every year at the start of December, he comes back and helps put up the lights.

5. My parents go overboard every Christmas and this past year was no exception. After we opened countless gifts—including a vacation!—my mom fished out one more card. Knowing we were stressed about finances, my parents had tucked a generous check inside. Attached was a post-it: Use this for medical expenses or Carson’s braces. I cried.

6. One of my favorite passages in the entire Bible is the one about the widow’s offering. In case you’re not familiar, it goes like this: one day Jesus watched people putting their money into the temple treasury. A bunch of rich folks threw in large amounts, while a poor widow dropped in two coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”¹

7. My second attempt to make a print magazine involved one disaster after another: quality issues, retired paper stock, pricing misquotes, and delays upon delays. Frustrated and exhausted, not to mention embarrassed, I finally sat down one night to draft an email to all of our customers. With as much grace and transparency as I could possibly muster, I explained, in detail, what was happening behind the scenes and why there was yet another shipping delay. I held my breath as I hit “send”— hoping people would understand and not be too upset. Honestly, I didn’t expect anyone to reply, let alone kindly, so you can imagine my shock when I returned to my laptop one hour later to find not one, not two, but dozens of emails.
   
   Team slow art 100%!!!
   Thank you for making this call and for caring well to communicate!
   Looking forward to savoring each page!
   I can’t say this enough— no worries at all. I know it’ll come at the perfect time!
   Your work is always worth the wait!

   
   I took a screenshot of my inbox, and cried.

   

8. Every few years, my parents take us to Hawaii. As in: they provide the timeshare, book the flights, and usually pay for a good chunk of the meals. Taking your grown-ass daughter on vacation with her husband and three children is certainly generous in itself, but the last time we went, we were halfway through Costco when my dad noticed me wavering on a few purchases. “Ash, I’ve got the groceries this time,” he said, “Get whatever you want.” I stood there, stunned. Really, dad? “Really.” I recounted the story later with my friends, tears pricking my eyes. This is 37, I joked, when your dad offers to foot the Costco bill and it feels like you won the lottery.

9. I met Kaitlin on the Internet, and one of the first things I learned about her is that she talks about money differently than anyone I’ve ever met. She uses the words “money” and “resource” interchangeably. As in, money is simply a resource to put to use. When I expressed my desire to keep our print magazine ad-free, it was her suggestion to ask for donations, to tap into our own community and seek out mothers and grandmothers who might have both the financial resources and the desire to support this kind of creative work. For Kaitlin, money is always something to use in the world for good, not something to hoard. With both magazines, she was the first person to donate.

10. Gift-giving is my mother-in-law’s primary love language. I could write a dozen paragraphs outlining the extravagant gifts she’s given us over the years: so many presents, vacations, meals, hotel points, cash, etc. But one of the ways she’s been most generous with us has not been in the form of things or money. Whenever she watches the kids, she always says, “Take your time. Don’t hurry back.” For two exhausted parents, this is the equivalent of gold.

11. I grew up in a church that rarely—if ever—spoke about grace. I am almost grateful I had to re-learn the gospel as a grown adult because I can now see that gift crystal clear for what it is: more generous than necessary, excessively lavish.

12. Every time I receive a kind email about my work, I save it in a folder called “Don’t Quit Writing.” This folder contains more emails than any other folder in my inbox.

13. Things I’ve given away in the Buy Nothing Group in the past year: new clothes, an art easel, Quince bedding, three suitcases, a Gathr mat, six pairs of sunglasses, a toy shopping cart, princess dress-up costumes, soccer cleats, art supplies, a pristine car seat, a fort building kit, and the beloved rocking chair I rocked all three of my babies in.

    

    Other defining words you might like:
    

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    Do you have a word or phrase for the year? I’d love to hear …
    

1. Mark 12:43-44, NIV