Nobody Likes To Brag

All The Things | October 2024

Oct 08, 2024

When my nine-year-old son informs me he wants to run for Student Senate, I immediately nominate myself to be his campaign manager.

While I cannot say I want my children to grow up pursuing a career in politics—what with the corruption and scandals and assassination attempts, etc.—this feels like a safe entry point. Advocating on behalf of his fourth grade classmates? Listening to different viewpoints? Meeting with teachers and school officials to make a difference? What an incredible opportunity.

When I ask about the campaign rules, Carson explains the candidates aren’t allowed to make posters, pass out candy, or otherwise bribe their way into office. The entire vote hinges on a public speech they make in front of their class.

I encourage Carson to think about why he is qualified for such an important position, rattling off his list of qualifications. He’s responsible, for one. This is the kid who wakes up at the crack of dawn, makes breakfast, gets dressed, and then reads on the couch for an hour often before his other siblings are even awake. This is the kid who “babysits” Presley for free, and walks her across the entire school campus every morning. Carson is reliable and trustworthy, relevant character traits he can use in his speech.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna say that,” he tells me.

I remind him of his generosity. This is the kid who forever takes the smallest cookie off the plate so his brother and sister can have the bigger ones. He’s the kid who offers to go last so others can go first. The kid who starts talking about Christmas in October, not because he’s thinking about his own gifts but because he’s already thinking about what he can buy—with his own money (!)—for other people. Carson is selfless, charitable, and always thinking of others.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna say that,” he tells me.

I push back gently, reminding him that he can’t win without a compelling speech. He has to tell people why they should vote for him.

“Well, I don’t want to brag about myself!” he argues.

Aha.

(Also: add this to his list of qualifications. Carson does not have an arrogant bone in his body.)

We talk in circles for a few minutes. Me, trying to convince him what to put in his speech. Him, telling me he doesn’t want to brag. Finally I relent and try to shift the narrative.

“Let’s focus on what you will do for others,” I suggest, “That way you’re not talking about how awesome you are, but you’re talking about how you’d like to help people instead.”

“That still sounds like bragging,” he says.

I sigh. But also: I get it. As a writer, I feel this tension all the time. There are so many ways to promote a book, but sometimes it all feels like bragging. Look at me, look at me, look at this thing I made! I watch other authors share screenshots of their 5-star reviews, make reels galore, and shout from the rooftops until they’re red in the face. And who can blame them? This is the industry. This is the expectation. Feed the machine, feed the machine, feed the machine. The internet has no shortage of suggestions on how to get your work in front of more eyeballs. A lot of the strategies are loud. Direct. A tad aggressive, in my humble opinion. Most of them don’t feel like me.

In the end, Carson decides to write his speech as a poem, playing off his last name, which is easy to rhyme.1 There’s not a lot of meat or substance, but Carson is confident it will make people laugh. I secretly worry he is running on nothing more than charm and charisma.

Then again, with the exception of two new students, his fourth grade class is made up of all the same kids from his third grade class. His classmates already know Carson. These kids have done projects with him, eaten lunch with him, attended field trips with him. It’s easy to put weight in a two-minute speech and forget that Carson’s character is on display 365 days a year.

The day of his speech, Carson comes home from school with a dramatic frown, telling us he lost. I study his face.

“Did you really lose?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he hangs his head, fighting back a smile.

“You liar!” I shriek, tousling his hair. “You won, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he smiles.

Thirteen people ran for two positions. Carson won, along with his best friend Jaxon.

“I guess you were right about the speech, huh?”

He nods.

“I’m glad you listened to your gut,” I tell him.

What I don’t say: thanks for reminding me to listen to mine.

The custom suggestion box Carson and Jaxon made for their class, a play on their school mascot, Sally the Mustang

And now, onto the links!

Currently reading and/or just finished reading: Neighborhoods Reimagined (a book for such a time as this—look for Chris and Elizabeth on the C+C podcast soon!), The Funeral Ladies of Ellerie County (LOVED this book so much), and Slow Dance (5 stars, didn’t want it to end). I read a handful of other books I didn’t love so I’m not going to bother linking them 😜 My IRL book club is reading God of the Woods for November, so that is next on my list. And, three books by friends of mine I am excited to read ASAP: Gospel Mom, Word Before World, Even After Everything.

Speaking of books, happy launch day to my dear friend Jill ❤️

The Coffee + Crumbs fall collection is live! When I tell you I had to perform open heart surgery on this essay more than once, what I mean is that it took 18 full revisions to determine what this essay was even about. AKA: sometimes writing is free therapy.

I have loved Sonja & Alex’s recipes for a long time, and their new cookbook is not to be missed. This would be an amazing gift for a newlywed couple, or any couple that enjoys cooking together.

Let me be the 32nd person to recommend Nobody Wants This. Still not over that first kiss, oof. 🔥

The great denim ~~crisis~~ confusion of 2024 continues! I recently sold and/or donated half my jeans—for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because I did not feel good wearing them. Is there anything more freeing than ridding your closet of hard pants that you can’t wear while sitting or eating? I am too old for that kind of misery. After a few rounds of online window shopping, I finally took myself on a real date to Nordstrom Rack and tried on, I wish I was kidding, something like 27 pairs of jeans. Around pair 19 I started to wonder if I was going to leave empty-handed, and then I slipped these on, and I swear sunbeams shot out of the fluorescent lights above. The fit! The feel! THESE ARE THE JEANS I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. They’re soft, high-waisted, and that perfect blend of fitted where it should be fitted and loose where it should be loose.

I’ve been using Sunday Riley products for about eight years, and cannot say enough good things about the A+ retinol and Luna sleeping oil. I only buy when they’re on sale and Dermstore is currently offering 30% off with code SUNDAY30.

The title of this Substack post sent me into a mild panic until I realized it was actually a very kind book review. 😜 (Thank you, Sue!)

These muffins were delicious and easy to make. Not as easy as these, though. Both will be in my fall baking rotation.

At the risk of being reeeeeal TMI, I am officially packs-digestion-support-when-traveling years old. I recently spent five days in Denver and can confidently tell you that these bloat pills are fantastic (I use them when eating out) and one cup of this tea before bed keeps everything moving right along. IYKYK.

Apparently it’s prime day, again? Stuff I own and love that is currently on sale, beauty edition: undereye patches (put them in the fridge the night before and be blessed), ice roller (I even travel with this like the diva I am), Tula eye brightening balm (my friend Melanie got me hooked on this a couple of years ago), favorite leave-in conditioner, favorite facial spray

Non-beauty items on sale: favorite protein powder (use this in smoothies and yogurt!), favorite collagen (use this in smoothies and coffee), The Artist’s Way, Writing Down the Bones, packing cubes, Magna Tiles, Hatch dupe alarm clock

Shameless plug:

Our second print magazine is coming soon!

What it was like to launch the first one | Still seeking mentor moms ❤️

I’m trying very very very hard not to get a complex about this, but Amazon is still selling Create Anyway for pennies on the dollar ($5.39, currently). Is this what happens when your book doesn’t perform well? It ends up at the bottom of the clearance bins?2 I only laugh to keep from crying. I worked on this book for three years and it’s currently cheaper than a pumpkin spice latte. Great time to stock up on gifts!

That’s all I’ve got. What are you reading? Wearing? Cooking? Watching? Tell me everything! Also accepting Adam Brody memes in the comments.

The Second Act

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