Five Low-key Rhythms & Routines Working For Us This Summer

Emphasis on low-key

My friend Elise and I are standing in the concession stand at the movie theater exchanging pleasantries while I wait for my popcorn and Diet Coke. How's your summer? she asks. I pause for a second, contemplating how honest I should be. Then I remember her kids are similar ages to mine and I lean in, practically whispering.

"I almost feel bad saying this, considering a lot of our friends are still in the thick of the little years, but summer with big kids is … kind of amazing?"

She nods with a subtle, knowing laugh.

To be clear: I love babies! I love toddlers. I love four-year-olds who say "teef" instead of teeth. But let me tell you something: once all your kids can wipe their own butts and make their own snacks, the whole world opens up a bit. I will not call parenting at this stage "easy" per se, but there is an ease to this season that still feels new and fresh and dare I say even otherworldly at times. The kind of ease where you can take your eye off the ball for a few minutes and live to tell about it, where you can shower in peace every (!) single (!) day (!), where occasionally the house is completely quiet but nobody is taking a Sharpie pen to the furniture (they are all just … reading?! 🤯).

I share this for context because it was only a few years ago that we were living a completely different summer. A lovely summer, sure, but a very different summer. With that in mind, here are some lowkey rhythms and routines that are working for us with kids ages 13, 10, and 6:

1. A daily to-do list on the kitchen white board. Every summer I aspire to be the kind of mom who can whip up calendars and schedules and color-coded chore charts. You know, The Mom With A Plan™️! And every summer, without fail, I feel overwhelmed and do not make any of those things. This year, though, I landed on something doable: every morning I make a simple to-do list for the kids on our kitchen white board. They have to cross everything off the list before 1pm, which is when they start their allotted video game time. I'm loving the flexibility of this system because I can take it day by day. When we're home with nothing to do, there might be a few more tasks. But on a day with swim lessons, VBS, or a basketball clinic, there might be less. There are usually around 5-7 items, some of which never change (read for 30 minutes, tidy bedroom, take dog for a walk) and then a few bonus chores (wash your sheets, empty dishwasher, vacuum the living floor, etc). Most days, they finish everything in about an hour.
   

2. DIY reading challenge. We’ve got three different kids, reading at three different levels, with three different affections for reading (two love it; one doesn't). On the first day of summer break, I sat down with each kid and made a customized reading challenge with the prizes of their choosing. Example: once Presley reads two books, she earns an ice cream cone from McDonalds. Once Everett reads five books, he earns $10 cash (tell me you're 13 without telling me you're 13). For Carson's grand finale prize—16 books!—he asked to go to "one of those restaurants where they cook the food in front of you" (Hibachi). The prizes range from simple ice cream cones to a solo sleepover at Grandma's house (aka a "yes day" sponsored by my mom). Don’t tell my kids, but almost every prize is something we would probably already do in the summer. The nitty gritty details of our challenge are pretty simple: 1) Kids have to read 30 minutes a day, but can always read more than that if they want to. 2) All books have to be approved by Mom (sorry, Dogman). 3) Prizes are redeemable anytime after they are earned. If "ice cream" is on everyone's lists, they can wait for each other to earn that prize, or choose to go alone. Again, two of my kids love to read and don't need incentives at all, but this has been a great way to encourage my non-reader, and all three kids love earning prizes. Then I get to take them out for treats, which buys me Fun Mom™️ credit. Truly a win-win.

   

3. Daily decluttering challenge. Look. Sneaking into my kids' bedrooms when they're not home and getting rid of their excess belongings is truly one of my favorite pastimes. BUT. But! I also believe that being a good steward of your possessions is A Life Skill children need to learn. Which is why every day—for the entire summer—my kids are removing five things from their bedrooms. What kinds of things? Glad you asked. Garbage. Socks with holes. Clothes that no longer fit. Books they no longer read. Toys they no longer play with. Old craft projects, old shoes, old board games missing pieces. Every day they present me with five items and I tell them exactly what to do with them. Books go in our little free library in the front yard. Socks with holes go into the trash. Old toys and clothes go into the donation bag. Stuff in relatively good condition goes to Mom, who will either sell/consign it, or offer it up for free in our local Buy Nothing group. Historically, decluttering has been solely a Mom Chore and while I am more than happy to keep leading this charge, I am LOVING the assistance this summer and like to believe I am now raising children who will not turn into hoarders. TBD.

4. Let the kids be free. This is the first summer we are really letting our boys ROAM for long periods a day. The rules are light: wear your helmet, make sure your devices are charged in case we need to reach you, bring your water bottle. Every morning after breakfast and chores, they take off and usually don't come home until lunch. They're at the park. At Carson's best friend's house who has a pool. At Walgreens buying popsicles with their own money. Most nights after dinner, they take off again, with wiffle balls and a bat tucked in Everett's backpack. Seven years ago, we bought the dumpiest house in our dream neighborhood and I cannot tell you how grateful I am that we have two awesome parks within biking distance.
   

5. Open door policy. We have this rule during the school year as well, but even more so during the summer: friends are welcome here anytime. Brett and I both work from home so there is almost always an adult here. Friends can come and go as they please, they can help themselves to any snacks or drinks, and we're happy to drive anyone home if we need to. We host movie night on Friday nights, complete with popcorn / soda / candy / the works, and once or twice a month we let the kids are invite a friend to that as well. The bottom line: we want to be the house where the kids hang out, especially as our kids get older. We're trying to plant those seeds now, and summer is an easy time to keep our doors open.

Your turn: what low-key rhythms and routines are working for you and your family this summer? Tell me everything …

P.S. Two other summer-related posts, in case you missed ‘em: A Creative Posture For Your Summer, and (from last year) Summer MVPs